Kate - yep, I know how those expectations can be - whenever I've got a new team to 80, first thing I've wanted to do is go straight into Heroics, but it works no better for us than it does for single-boxers (and indeed, rather worse for us).
There's some other options I neglected to mention to:
1. Icecrown group quests - you should have no trouble doing them (assuming you've actually quested Icecrown to open them up), and there's some half-decent i200 blue rewards in case you have any outrageously craptastic pieces needing replacements.
2. Gear the prot first - I notice in your post you're talking about that, and I think it's a winning strategy. So long as the prot is half-decently geared he/she can carry the four sub-par Rets, but if the Prot is taking such high damage that the Rets are spending half their time healing him/her it'll be a real hard slog.
There's so many crafted options available now that, gold permitting, you really should be able to gear out the Prot without leaving Dalaran so that at least the tanks kit is passable for Heroics (even if it's wildly uneven between great pieces and crappy ones).
As an absolute last resort, you could even run the Prot through a few dungeons without the Rets in pugs I guess.
And your badge-spending strategy is a winner too I think. For each team I've gotten to 80 I had an Excel spreadsheet fully laden out with every badge purchase (triumph anyway) that I was intending for them, and the order in which I intended to get them. As you mentioned go for the smaller rewards first, that give you the most bang for the buck (particularly those that retire the worst current items).
Once you've gotten all kit to at least i200 Blue or better, you should find you start facerolling the easier Heroics (UK, UP, Nexus, Gun) and find the harder ones at least doable. It's a virtuous circle, the more gear you get, the easier it is to get more gear, you just need to push yourself over that initial hump is all.
I'd be keen to hear more of your progress. My guys are only 50 (after about 8 days of leveling with no RAF, no Heirlooms) and now I'm back from my recent business trip to Melbourne I'm hoping to push them up to 80 just as quickly as possible, so any updates on your own progress would be very interesting.
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