Kedash00
05-27-2008, 03:15 PM
I found this on a age of conan forum and thought it was funny...
After reading these forums for the past few weeks, I have come up with a list of ways to properly emulate the "Pro Lyfestyle". Here goes a comprehensive list for your viewing pleasure.
Step 1: Don't be a Goon. Goons are terrible at everything they do. They're so terrible that when they do kill someone, it doesn't really happen. I believe Time splits itself into two separate paths, one in which the Goon is victorious, and another (the "real" time stream) in which the Goon is, of course, smoted.
Step 2: Use 1337 speak. 1337 speak may seem like it's out of style, and you may think it's only used by preteens and morons, but believe me. Only the true pros use 1337 speak. Just look at For Teh Win! They're extremely successful, and all because of their rampant use of "Teh" and "lulz". (To receive more instruction, please be sure to register a 4chan account)
Step 3: Update your signature daily with your kills to death ratio. Only the most elite of the elite do this. It proves to everyone how badass they are. It's ok to lie about your actual record, but make sure it's believable at least. Something like 67043 to 3.
Step 4: While Goons may be terrible at PvP, be sure to post about how terrible they are at PvP constantly. Since we've determined that it's impossible for Goons to win at any fight, be sure to troll about how your level 13 Necromancer killed 3 dozen level 50+ Goons. Everyone will be forced to believe you.
Step 5: When your "pro-ness" is put under scrutiny, be sure to post a picture to dissuade everyone from believing you're fat and homely. Even if you are fat and homely, find a picture online of a normal looking person and be sure to post it as your guise. Remember, Pros are physically fit, get into bar fights constantly, and can benchpress upwards of 400 pounds.
Step 6: This may be the most important step, so remember it well: Always mention how awesome you and your posse are. Never, under any circumstances lead people to believe you aren't the best of the best. Use terms like "We're the best" or "We cannot be beaten" or "We're the best because we cannot be beaten" because it lets people know who you are and what you're about.
Follow these six easy steps and soon you too can be an MMO Pro.
After reading these forums for the past few weeks, I have come up with a list of ways to properly emulate the "Pro Lyfestyle". Here goes a comprehensive list for your viewing pleasure.
Step 1: Don't be a Goon. Goons are terrible at everything they do. They're so terrible that when they do kill someone, it doesn't really happen. I believe Time splits itself into two separate paths, one in which the Goon is victorious, and another (the "real" time stream) in which the Goon is, of course, smoted.
Step 2: Use 1337 speak. 1337 speak may seem like it's out of style, and you may think it's only used by preteens and morons, but believe me. Only the true pros use 1337 speak. Just look at For Teh Win! They're extremely successful, and all because of their rampant use of "Teh" and "lulz". (To receive more instruction, please be sure to register a 4chan account)
Step 3: Update your signature daily with your kills to death ratio. Only the most elite of the elite do this. It proves to everyone how badass they are. It's ok to lie about your actual record, but make sure it's believable at least. Something like 67043 to 3.
Step 4: While Goons may be terrible at PvP, be sure to post about how terrible they are at PvP constantly. Since we've determined that it's impossible for Goons to win at any fight, be sure to troll about how your level 13 Necromancer killed 3 dozen level 50+ Goons. Everyone will be forced to believe you.
Step 5: When your "pro-ness" is put under scrutiny, be sure to post a picture to dissuade everyone from believing you're fat and homely. Even if you are fat and homely, find a picture online of a normal looking person and be sure to post it as your guise. Remember, Pros are physically fit, get into bar fights constantly, and can benchpress upwards of 400 pounds.
Step 6: This may be the most important step, so remember it well: Always mention how awesome you and your posse are. Never, under any circumstances lead people to believe you aren't the best of the best. Use terms like "We're the best" or "We cannot be beaten" or "We're the best because we cannot be beaten" because it lets people know who you are and what you're about.
Follow these six easy steps and soon you too can be an MMO Pro.