How to be a MMO Pro

[Kedash00]

I found this on a age of conan forum and thought it was funny...

After reading these forums for the past few weeks, I have come up with a list of ways to properly emulate the "Pro Lyfestyle". Here goes a comprehensive list for your viewing pleasure.

Step 1: Don't be a Goon. Goons are terrible at everything they do. They're so terrible that when they do kill someone, it doesn't really happen. I believe Time splits itself into two separate paths, one in which the Goon is victorious, and another (the "real" time stream) in which the Goon is, of course, smoted.

Step 2: Use 1337 speak. 1337 speak may seem like it's out of style, and you may think it's only used by preteens and morons, but believe me. Only the true pros use 1337 speak. Just look at For Teh Win! They're extremely successful, and all because of their rampant use of "Teh" and "lulz". (To receive more instruction, please be sure to register a 4chan account)

Step 3: Update your signature daily with your kills to death ratio. Only the most elite of the elite do this. It proves to everyone how badass they are. It's ok to lie about your actual record, but make sure it's believable at least. Something like 67043 to 3.

Step 4: While Goons may be terrible at PvP, be sure to post about how terrible they are at PvP constantly. Since we've determined that it's impossible for Goons to win at any fight, be sure to troll about how your level 13 Necromancer killed 3 dozen level 50+ Goons. Everyone will be forced to believe you.

Step 5: When your "pro-ness" is put under scrutiny, be sure to post a picture to dissuade everyone from believing you're fat and homely. Even if you are fat and homely, find a picture online of a normal looking person and be sure to post it as your guise. Remember, Pros are physically fit, get into bar fights constantly, and can benchpress upwards of 400 pounds.

Step 6: This may be the most important step, so remember it well: Always mention how awesome you and your posse are. Never, under any circumstances lead people to believe you aren't the best of the best. Use terms like "We're the best" or "We cannot be beaten" or "We're the best because we cannot be beaten" because it lets people know who you are and what you're about.

Follow these six easy steps and soon you too can be an MMO Pro.

[Tdog]

Lulz

[Shaitan256]

Yay, Teh 0r!g!n4l 1337 sp33k^^

Reminds me of the subtitles from Arby 'n Chief ^^


olololooololllllololol (if you now what I Mean)

[Kedash00]

a Goon for this guys purposes is from...god i dont even remember which game that started in, like ultima online or something way way back...it's been changed since then to "insert random name of the week here"

goon is aka a douche, or something of that nature and it's not AoC specific, there are douches in every game lol

[Tdog]

a Goon for this guys purposes is from...god i dont even remember which game that started in, like ultima online or something way way back...it's been changed since then to "insert random name of the week here"

goon is aka a douche, or something of that nature and it's not AoC specific, there are douches in every game lol

So basically "Goon" stood for the nicer version of "Stupid P.O.S. retarded asshat mofo bastard that I'm going to kill if I ever meet IRL" that we see in WoW today?

[Kedash00]

So basically "Goon" stood for the nicer version of "Stupid P.O.S. retarded asshat mofo bastard that I'm going to kill if I ever meet IRL" that we see in WoW today?

lol what he said exactly.

[ImaHealer]

a Goon for this guys purposes is from...god i dont even remember which game that started in, like ultima online or something way way back...it's been changed since then to "insert random name of the week here"

goon is aka a douche, or something of that nature and it's not AoC specific, there are douches in every game lol

hmm I remember Dorks and Douche's but nope don't remember any Goons in Ultima Online lol

[MrLonghair]

I automatically think about people posting on a certain forum I hang on when I read goon, but on the other hand, the ones I play games with mostly rock.

[Ellay]

Goon is also from the Somethingawful website, their a massive group of players that literally zerg fest anything (they believe superior numbers wins in anything and stick by that motto), I know they have recently moved from Eve Online (Goonsquad) to AoC (Hordes of Goonheim), read an article about them today creating the first player made city.