20-minute (or so) recipes from gamers

[Bradster]

ok.. now i'm hungry

i've never done anything in a crock pot.. i think i'll go get one this weekend and try bradsters roast beef sandwich
(are there better brands of crock pots? what should i be wary of?)

here's a thought. what do you think about having a gamer-recipe-of-the-month kind of thing?

Don’t know of any good brands. I’m not much of a cook. I only know how to make a few things.

I now present to you what I call “The Artery clogging special” or “Kill me nom nom nom”
Requires: Frying pan.
List:
Pepper jack cheese
Steam’ems (any minute steak or chipped steak)
Eggs
Bacon (if you want a hospital visit faster)

Cook minute steaks, place temporarily on a plate.
Cook eggs, spam, scrapple (pick your poison) add that on to the place.
Now scramble some eggs and add the poison of your choice, add the minute steaks and mix it all together. You now have something, which not only tastes good but puts a fast restaurant to shame on being unhealthy.


Edit: Do not buy cheap Steak-em's, It will leave for feeling like you just gorged yourself on candy

[Bradster]

For my last Recipe I present to you “ZOMG FRENCH TOAST”


Step 1: get a pan and put it on a burner. Set the burner to about 3/4 of it's maximum temp.

Step 2: get all of your ingredients together. You will need: Milk, one egg, two slices of bread, cinnamon, brown sugar, and the MOST IMPORTANT INGREDIENT - real vanilla flavoring. Don't even consider using imitation vanilla flavoring, your french toast will taste horrible.

Step 3: Get a square-ish bowl-type dish and put the egg and some milk in there. About twice as much milk as there is egg.

Step 4: Add the cinnamon, brown sugar and vanilla flavoring. Once again, I'm not one for measurements, just eyeball it. Finding the right amount of each to add is really a trial by fire ordeal. I recommend about a tablespoon of each as a base. Now mix everything together.

Step 5: start toasting your bread. Traditionally, people left their bread out over night so it would be stale and soak up more of the mixture. I prefer toasting. Either way, you can't just use bread untoasted, or unstaled because it won't soak up anything and taste like crap. You wanna toast the bread to a nice, golden brown.

Step 6: Put the toast in the mixture.Take a spatula and flip the toast a couple of times to make sure both sides start to soak up the mixture. Once bits start breaking off throw it in the pan.


Step 7: Cook it. Remember that we're using two pieces of toast, so just repeat step 6 twice. Once everything is good and cooked, and there's no more runny-ness to the French Toast, take it out and put it on a plate. You may cover the French toast generously in powdered sugar. Then put some syrup on that and enjoy!

[Sarduci]

Here's some advise on crock pots: (I've got more of them than I do computers)

Get one that has at least 4 settings:
High for 4 and 6 hours
Low for 8 and 12 hours
+ optional "warming" setting

This is my favorite one that I own. Nobody gets to use this one except me.
http://www.amazon.com/Rival-SCVP600-...ef=pd_sim_hg_6

Beef roast, 3 to 4 lbs
Chicken stock, canned, low sodium x2
Beef broth, canned, low sodium x 2

Carrots, potatoes and onions, cubed about the width of your thumb (this is the longest part, takes me about 5 minutes max)

Toss in veggies THEN the beef roast. Cover with chicken and beefy flavored goodness. Set to low for 8+ hours and go to work. Most crock pots will go to a warming setting when it's done cooking for the 8 hours.

****DO NOT LIFT THE LID EVER ON THE CROCK POT OR IT WILL NOT COOK PROPERLY ON THE LOW SETTING**** It can take up to 2 hours to return to the correct cooking temp and will not cook the food the right way.

Take beef out of the cooker, put it on a serving plate and rest it for 30 minutes covered in tin foil. If you don't do this, feel free to eat your dry meat instead of a juicy roast.

Uncover, slice across the grain of the meat (yes, cutting it will affect the final product) or use two normal forks and shred the meat into chunks without cutting the roast.

Ta da! Sliced or shreaded beef with veggies. 20 minutes tops of actual work.

If you get sparky, put the juice from the crock pot into a stock pot on the stove. Turn up the heat until it starts to boil. Add a teaspoon of all purpose flour to thicken. Whisk like the hounds of hell are chasing you and the only thing that can save you is on your stove. Keep adding little bits of flour until it is a bit more runny than you want it to be. Congrats, you now have gravy for your meat and 'taters. Feel free to put into containers and freeze so you don't have to make gravy next time.


I'll see if I can dig up my own beef and cheese nacho dip, if I'm at the grocery store I can wander down the isles and pick everything I need out. Unfortunately I can't do it off the top of my head.

[Sarduci]

For my last Recipe I present to you “ZOMG FRENCH TOAST”

Let me add my version to this:

4 eggs (scale up or down to how many pieces you want)
dash of milk, half count to all you bartenders out there
pinch of salt and pepper
loaf of bread

Preheat non-stick pan on medium heat. Mix up eggs, milk and salt/pepper in a wide dish. Color should be a bright yellow, should froth a bit if you mix it hard. Toss bread into the mix, give it a 3 count, flip, give it a three count and toss it in the pan. Depending on your pan and how hot it is, give it about 30 seconds and flip. If the top is a light brown color and it came away clean from the pan you are right on track. Adjust longer if it was hard to get off the pan, shorter if it was too brown and turn down the heat a bit. I'm all for flavoring after you cook it. Sugar, cinnamon, powder sugar, whip cream, berries, real or fake maple syurp or ice cream added to taste. (don't ask me, ice cream is a bit weird but people do it) I prefer it with a bit of butter and some home made maple syrup.

[Elili]

This is my favorite one that I own. Nobody gets to use this one except me.
http://www.amazon.com/Rival-SCVP600-...ef=pd_sim_hg_6

I have that crock pot! =P

Oh, fair warning "Holy shit wall of text"

Alright so I'm game on this one. I'll start with Chicken Fried Steak because, well it's good stuff, (I did want to be a chef, but then I grew a brain and realized I didn't want to work 16 hour days 6 to 7 days a week and get paid almost nothing, all the while being victim to the people that eat at restaurants and expect to be treated like kings. I mean, I love cooking, Just not that much)

Start out with picking some good sides, personally i'm going to go for Mashed spuds, and creamed spinach (But since this is a 20 minute meal, we will do from a box, Green Giant makes good creamed spinach really).

Shopping List

Steaks, obviously. Now there's a few different ways you can go on this. Cubed steak is the obvious first choice for chicken fried steak, but there is something to be said for the flavor of getting a good steak and Cubing it yourself. For those that have the time, find a good steak, without bones, that's about half an inch thick. I reccomend getting bottom round, trimming it of excess fat, and slicing it, with the grain about 1/2 Inch thick steaks. Once sliced, take a fork and begin the cubing process. The idea behind cubing is to break up the tough fibers and connective tissue in meat, this makes it much more tender when cooked, to the point where you can easily slice it with a fork. Since we are working with bottom round, which is a part of the cow which is worked hard in it's life, it's very tough, but full of good flavor. So take your fork, and pierce each steak, up and down, just go in a line, trying to get as many little stabs into it as you can. Go each direction, then flip it over and repeat.

If all that seems like too much work, simply purchase "Cubed Steak". Try to find "Cubed Steak Special" if you can, it will be of a higher quality. There is no rare in the world of chicken fried steak, so it will be cooked through.

Potatoes. I go with red. about 3 small red potatoes should be good per person. 2 medium, 1 large.
Sour Cream (I never said healthy.)
Salt, Pepper
Flour
Unsalted Butter
Vegetable Oil - I personally prefer peanut oil. It has a higher smoke point, allowing you to cook at higher temperatures. If there is a problem with allergies use Sunflower oil. Similar smoke point, and good flavor too. You could use any oil, except Olive oil. It will burn.
Eggs This will depend on how many your feeding. I use 1 egg for every two steaks.
Milk
Chives (optional, if you can't find them, don't fear)
Creamed Spinach, if going with the Green Giant boxes, each box should feed 3 people.
Form of bread. Anything you like, I like to go with a fresh loaf of Rye bread from a local bakery, or a good French loaf. This is optional of course, but really, it's not a meal without bread.


Alright, this is actually a really simple meal. Start out by placing a pot of water large enough for your potatoes on to boil. I generally make more then I need, since potatoes are cheap.

Wash each potato, just a good scrub with your hand under running water. If you don't like the skins, peel them, I like to peel half of them and leave half the skins.

Slice each potato into cubes, about inch. The best way to do this is to cut a small slice off the bottom of each (Think of it as a foot) so they sit stable. Slice them in half, the same direction as the first slice you took off, then place it on it's flat bottom, and slice it into thirds, lengthwise so it looks like your cutting french fries, (Or half if it's small), now come back across and cut it into cubes. Practice doing it the same on each one, and it looks like you know what your doing when your cooking for someone =D. You can drop these straight into the water (Even if it's not boiling).

Now onto the cubed steak. Start by seasoning both sides with cracked black pepper, and salt.

Scramble your eggs, and place them on a tray / plate. Something you can fit your entire steak on to coat it with egg.

Setup two plates with flour, something again that you can fit your entire steak into. Place one on each side of the plate with egg. (You can do this with one plate of flour, but it will be messy.)

You'll need a resting place for the meat once it's coated. A wire rack is a great solution (Sitting ontop of a cookie sheet or baking pan)

Begin, by taking one steak at a time, and coating it with flour, shake off the excess, and then coat it with egg, make sure the excess drips off, then coat it with flour in the last plate/container, and shake off the excess again. Now place this in your resting place, and repeat for each steak.

Place a frying pan on the stove, fill it with about a quarter of an inch of oil and put it on medium high heat. Make sure this is large enough to hold the number of steaks your cooking, or at the very least half of them (If your preparing for a large party)

Now you want to wait, for 15 minutes. (Sucks). You need your oil to warm up, as well as allowing the flour / egg coating to thicken on the steak. This way when you cook it, it won't slide off, it will stay on the steak.

During this process be sure to check on your potatoes occasionally. The best indicator is if they are done is "fork tender" take a fork and try to pierce a piece of potato. When your fork goes in with little resistance, and the potato just about splits in half when you stab it, it's time to pull them out. Drain them into a colander. If you don't have a colander, the best method is to take a lid that fits the pot, hold it onto the top, and let a small area of it open, to have water pour out, but not large enough for the potatoes to fall out. This method can become dangerous (Boiling water, heavy objects, not safe) I do this, but I'm also an idiot.

After draining your potatoes place them back into the pot, and begin to mash them. I use an actual potato masher, if you don't have one, a large fork, or beaters, work just as well. You don't want them to become smooth. After you've busted up all the potatoes a bit, add the sour cream. The amount you want to use will vary depending on the number of potatoes, so start with a little (Fourth of a cup or so) and add more until you reach the consistency, and flavor, you want. Dice up some of the chives, add salt, pepper, chives, and butter (A couple tablespoons of butter), all to taste. You can use full chives as a decoration, just take a few and slide them into the middle of the serving bowl of potatoes, with a pat of butter under them. I also take a few of the diced chives, and spread them around top.

After you've waited 15 minutes, place each steak into the hot oil. It will take about 4 minutes per side until each is browned, after about 4 minutes, flip it over, and wait another 4 minutes. When they are finished, place them back on the wire rack, cover them with an aluminum foil tent (Just make sure it isn't touching the meat).

If your using frozen sides, such as creamed spinach, now is the best time to throw it in the microwave.

Drain the oil from the pan into a bowl, place the pan back on the heat, add 3 tablespoons of oil, and 3 tablespoons of flour left from the dredging. This process is to make what's called a Roux. A roux is used to thicken sauces, and it's the basis of what are the three "mother sauces" in french cooking. We are making something similar to a bechamel sauce, Flour, Butter, and Milk, but not to offend the French we won't call it that.

Whisk the flour and oil together completely, and begin to add milk, while whisking. Add about 3/4's of a cup of milk, continue whisking at a medium high heat until it just looks like it's starting to boil, drop the temperature to low, whisk for the next minute or so and it should become much thicker. If it's too thick for your taste, add more milk. Whisk occasionally for the next 4 or 5 minutes, while you prepare the plates.

After about 4 or 5 minutes, add salt and pepper to the sauce to taste, pour some of the sauce on each steak, and the mashed potatoes if you like.

Overall this should only take about 30 - 35 minutes to prepare, Granted I've done it enough to get used to it. Not quite 20 minutes, but it's a great meal.

[Mac]

dinner recipe that will make you look like Emeril

I don't cook what I can't BBQ or Microwave, what is an Emeril?

[Ughmahedhurtz]

Emeril is a famous creole chef from the New Orleans, Louisiana area. He had a show on Food Network for quite a while.

[Mac]

ah, ty. I don't watch TV. My sis watches that channel though, I guess which is why I go over there for meals when I can

Its not that I wouldn't like to cook, but when I was married my ex and I evolved into a routine where she did the cooking and I did the clean up. Both of us in the kitchen at the same time just didn't work, which is pretty telling in retrospect. Keyclone's pro-tip is right on the money. There's a lot you can tell about a person and how compatibable you might be if you can enjoy shopping, cooking and eating together.

When I get home, sometimes I'm hungry but most of the time not. I just want a snack and start working on my crew. Cooking and eating and cleaning up after is just not something I want to do when I get home.

[Biomehanikka]

to offset the fattier recipes i posted earlier and to go along with what yesh said heres my low cal chicken meal that i use when i diet.

Gather:
boneless, skinless chickenbreasts. i use costco brand cuz it comes individually wrapped and protects from freezer burn, thaw however many u need
Chicken broth; any brand i used the boxed kind, canned works just fine too
broccoli or some vegetable u absolutely love this will be used as a filler the more of this u eat the better, for me its broccoli, asparagus, green beans and thats about it lol
rice; white brown long grain short doesnt matter microwavable is fine

1. Since everything that i listed has pretty much the same cooking time(20 mins) u can start it all at the same time; cut broccoli into more managable chunks or just use the flourettes, put into a steamer/strainer u have. i have a collapsable one i put inside the pan and put the broccoli into and i fill it with water to just at the bottom of the steamer/strainer. bring to high boil, cover, and cook for ~20mins
2. in a large pan add broth and chicken, the chicken should be floating or damn close to it in the broth. boil for 20 mins high heat and cover it
3. follow directions for your rice, my rice comes free from a farmer friend i have and its directions are 1.5 cups of water to 1 cup of rice for 20 mins or until all water is gone. follow directions to the letter and u will get some damn fine rice(microwavable works too)

bada bing u got yerself a whole, healthy meal in ~20 mins. if u honestly dont know how to steam veggies like broccoli i would recommend buying the frozen kind that steams in the bag in the microwave or the veggies that come in little bags in the produce section at most supermarkets(it has a french name on it i think its hericot vers or sumtin like that) and follow the directions. this is an incredibly low calorie dinner, broccoli is around 50 cals per cup rice is like 180 per cup(cooked) and a chicken breats is about 200 cals depending on size, it should also be noted that a baked potato(with mild toppings not a whole stick of butter) is around 100 calories so u could make that too

edit: o and the chicken broth is to enhance the chicken flavor, as bradster showed anything stewed in its own juices is absolutely delicious, and if plain veggies dont suit u, add some grated cheese, but dont go overkill, this is low cal, but that doesnt mean it is low flavor, i love this recipe and have it at least twice a week

[Negativ1337]

I got something VERY tasty if you're in a "sweet" mood. Its a 12oclock meal

Put milk on a plate,
Put egg on a plate (raw egg juice, out the egg)
Put bread in milk (both sides)
Put bread with milk in egg (both sides)
Put butter in the pan
Put it in the pan
When its brown, turn it around (i like to flip it around that increases my cook skill irl)
When the other side is brown, flip/turn it around.
Put it on a plate
Throw sugar over it

and OM NOM NOM NOM
3 Plates in dishwasher, 1 pan to clean by hands.
Taste and not much trashmobs.

Edit: GG Bradster, you ninja'ed my artifact cooking recipe! :P

-Negativ1337