I keep crashing on instance load screens.

[MiRai]

Is 2gb insufficient for quad boxng then?

It's enough assuming you're not playing on the Ultra preset using DX11.

i was looking at it, and it looks likes my processo is maxing out on load screens( it's usually only at 60%) or so while actually raiding). Is there something I can do to give a hand during the load process?

Don't hit accept on all of your characters at the same time.