Yeah...lord some of the things I see...thankfully we don't process for porn companies so no dealing with shemale bangers disputes ;p But we do process for places like Steam, Gravity(Ragnarok Online's company) among many others...my first few months I didn't like half the shit I saw either, but thanks to Visa/MC's processing rules if the cardholder submits the right info we have to automatically debit it and then the Merchant's got 45 days to prove 'em wrong =\ I feel so bad for some of 'em but I don't have much of a choice, I'm the messenger basically...s'why I took up the Good Faith(last chance/after 45 days're up) work queues, helps a little to give merchants that last shot before they go after the cardholder themselves if the bank says no.
Though that's not to say some are asking for it either...if you ever own a non-online business, DO NOT SELL A DAMN THING WITHOUT GETTING THE SIGNATURE AND CARD IMPRINT OR SWIPE. Soooo many don't bother and it fucks them in the end. You get a signature and you're golden in most non-Airline fraud cases. And if you buy shit online, actually READ the "Click to accept" bullshit they give you; that alone can return the chargeback to the bank on non-fraud cases :p
Luckily for our merchants though Pinot, it's been policy since about 1 year ago to represent any chargeback a merchant responds to around the "5 days left" mark if there's anything remotely useable, in an attempt to help out the Merchants being screwed around like you mentioned. Doesn't mean the greedy bastards won't come back in on you in Arbitration though, but even if that happens there's always Good Faith then good old fashioned Collection Agencies ;p
(And in that hotel example above, the manager was pissed because he sent us a response within 3 days of the debit...useless information, we sent him a letter asking for specific info such as anything signed by the cardholder to validate the charge, he sends us the same shit again, we send another letter bolding what we NEED according to visa and stating a picture of the charges isn't going to help since we know what was charged already, and the THIRD time he sent us the SAME shit. That's when we had to call him up and the above happened.)
Yeah, it's quite the business. lol; and as I said, I specifically avoided the phone team, I was just listening in...the only people I ever spend time on the phone with are the banks trying to get Good Faith stuff taken care of
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