So there I was...
Sitting in my room doing my home work, happily plugging away at my calculator. The ground shakes violently, the earth moved as if lurching somewhere. In a panic I sprang to my feet, darting quickly to the window to see what was going on.
Across the street, to my absolute horror, the neighbors T-Rex had broken out of it's pen and was smashing houses and eating the children.
A panic set it, and I feared the worse. I slowly closed the blinds so as to not attract attention and went and slumped down in my hallway. What the hell was I supposed to do? I am not equipped to fight a dinosaur.
As I lay on the flow, counting each second as though it were my last, I here a loud roar from the back yard. I slide on my belly through the living room and gaze upon the lush fertile land that is the back yard... someone really should mow it... and look upon a pack of VELOCIRAPTORS. Upon discovering them, one looks up and discovers me, and at that moment, I realize that this is it. I am going to die.
I leap up and spring to action running back down the hall to the bedrooms, pausing momentarily... I look at the door knobs and every single damn one is gone. Who's bright idea was it to change all the doorknobs today? I make a decision that there is only one thing left to do... and that is make a run for it.
I smash out the window in my sisters room, there is no way I am going to get glass all over my room, and jump through the window and tuck into an amazing mega awesome commando roll. I roll onto my feet and hit my full stride instantly and run smack into an armored truck.
Looks like the national gaurd decided to fight back! They had cargo trucks loaded with one man armored combat vehicles and guns, guns and more guns. MORE GUNS THAN YOUR BODY HAS ROOM FOR! I slowly turn around and survey the carnage. Man has picked up arms against his dinosaur brothers... and the dinosaurs were winning. A quick snap decision put my life before the life of my fellow man. I rushed to the cab and told the driver that the truck was empty and he needs to get out of here to pick up more.
As he started up the truck I lept into the back and closed the doors. This would be remembered as the day I left behind my fellow man, and preserved my own life.
An hour or so down the road I hear the faint sound of music, slowing getting louder. I thought nothing of it until I heard a quick mechanical whir pass by. I opened the flap of the window expecting to see vast fields of desolation and destruction, only to be met by the faint glow of a familiar place.
We had made it, we were safe. As the truck slowed and rounded a corner I opened the door to the bed of the truck and hopped to the street below. It had been ages since I walked the tempting streets of Mos Eisley. I needed to find a ship off this planet, Tatooine was no longer safe for the likes of me.
I briskly walked down alleys looking for someone, anyone, that would be able to assist me. I happened upon a man and a boy, and 2 droids. I greeted them and pointed out that they look to be from offworld, and asked if they were leaving soon and had room for me. They politely agree'd and introduced themselves.
The shiny metal droid stated, "I am C3PO and this is R2-D2."
The boy meekly states, "My name is Luke and I am going to be a Jedi."
The old man quaintly nods, "My name is Svpernova09, I am from the Cataclysm Fire Department. We are here on reports of unauthorized T-Rex breeding."
And that is when I woke up. Best dream this week yet. Stay tuned for more...
TALES FROM CRUMS F'D UP MIND
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Originally Posted by Zub
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