You need 17% hit to hit a boss 3 levels above you (i.e. an 88 boss at 85 or an 83 boss at 80). The hit rating required is dependent on level difference between the mobs, not level difference from max level.
Your relative damage mitigation works the same way - based on level difference. So, his wife's characters are getting hit relatively harder, but it's no where near bringing a lvl 79 to tank.
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