How to NOT clean your hardware

[Gurblash]

This just came in the IRC chat room. I'll let you take it for what its worth.

<IMBot> lawlalwl has joined.
<IMBot> lawlalwl: hey
<IMBot> lawlalwl: i ned help of u guy's computer expertise (A)
<@Wilburwork> whats up?
<IMBot> lawlalwl: when im on my comp my cpu spikes some times and then my mouse image freezes, the mouse works but the immageis frozen at 1 spot for 10 seconds, making it imposible to see where it actualy is
<@Wilburwork> ...so find out what the program is thats causing the CPU spike?
<@Gurblash> pr0n streams imo
<IMBot> lawlalwl: its random progs
<@Wilburwork> random progs.
<@Gurblash> ... then close them
<@Gurblash> close all unnecessary progs
<@Wilburwork> In my experience.
<@Gurblash> ie everything but WoW...
<IMBot> lawlalwl: but before i could freeze my comp and it woudent freeze my mouse
<@Wilburwork> your computer is probably Fubar'd
<IMBot> lawlalwl: and its wow, firefox, msn, system apply's
<@Wilburwork> yeah
<@Wilburwork> Either run some spyware scans/antivirus scans.
<@Gurblash> cleaned your Mobo contacts lately?
<@Wilburwork> or just reinstall.
<IMBot> lawlalwl: i did that
<@Gurblash> check for dust
<IMBot> lawlalwl: mobo?
<@Gurblash> ...
<@Gurblash> mother board
<@Wilburwork> Motherboard
<IMBot> lawlalwl: ill clean my comp
<@Gurblash> get some qtips and rubbing alcahol to clean your contacts
<@Gurblash> NOT your Eye Contacts
<@Gurblash> as that would cause insurmountable pain
<@Gurblash> ... although I would probably laugh
<IMBot> lawlalwl: durr ofc i wont put it in my eye..
<IMBot> lawlalwl: im stupid but not that stupid :P
<@Gurblash> thats yet to be proven
<@Gurblash> WTS Dot Matrix printers... Free if you pick them up. Fucking Pieces of Shit
<IMBot> lawlalwl: note to self, turn computer down before cleaning shit
<IMBot> lawlalwl: i just got electricuted by my friging scanner
<@Gurblash> ... you still had it plugged in?
<IMBot> lawlalwl: ye
<IMBot> lawlalwl: i think its broken
<@Wilburwork> Wow
<@Wilburwork> [18:24:21] <IMBot> lawlalwl: im stupid but not that stupid :P
<@Wilburwork> [18:25:32] <@Gurblash> thats yet to be proven
<@Wilburwork> I didn't think it would happen *that* quick...
<IMBot> lawlalwl:
<@Wilburwork> ok
<@Wilburwork> I go home now.
<@Wilburwork> please leave messages with Wilbur ;-)
<@Gurblash> yea no joke lol
<@Gurblash> wow seriously... cleaning your computer with it still plugged in, not the SMARTEST of ideas
<IMBot> lawlalwl has joined.
<IMBot> lawlalwl: fucks sake
<IMBot> lawlalwl: screw cleaning my comp, i just shorted the power again -.- had to fix the power thingy outside..
<@Gurblash> ... dude
<@Gurblash> UNPLUG it
<@Gurblash> ffs
<@Gurblash> take it OUTSIDE to clean it
<@Gurblash> why clean it and spread the dust in your house
<@Gurblash> you just PROVED you *are* that stupid btw
<@Morganti> back
<@Gurblash> the previous 40 lines or so are a MUST read morg
<@Morganti> rgr
<@Morganti> OMG....my whole office had to come and see why i was dying out laughing in my cubicle
<@Gurblash> LOL
<@Gurblash> inorite
<@Gurblash> I think that one deserves a spot on the forums
<@Morganti> wow.....im wiping away tears
<@Gurblash> Kinda wish Zin was here to badger him

The Morale of the story... Don't play with computers if you don't know the basics of Electricity. /palmface

[Eteocles]

I lol'd heartily sir. Probably the kind of guy who pokes his finger into a campfire, goes "OW FIRE HOT!", waits a second or two, then repeats the poke -> OW -> poke -> OHGODOW WHY -> ....poke -> AHHHH MY FINGER IS MELTING -> poke with new finger and still wonder why it hurts...DARWIN IS SPINNING SO FAST HE IS DRILLING OUT OF HIS GRAVE, KIDS! Generally when something zaps you you don't do it again a second later.

[boxer]

Homer Simpson moment? I think so.