I've spoken to my mum, she wonders whether I'm suffering depression, as it's affected a lot of men in both sides of the family.

I recently been to the doctor about a drinking problem, which I've been able to cut down drastically of my own free will - but am concerned for my liver. Over two weeks I drank 3 litres of gin, mostly binging it, twice during the day - fell asleep in the bath once... plus I drank beer/wine.

I've got my addiction to wow, which isn't so bad.. I'll put my girlfriend before wow, but it affects my work as it's on my mind constantly...

So since I've cut down a lot on the wine, maybe this paranoia or something is kicking in strong, just things to escape reality in someway.

5months ago I came out of a 5 year relationship, and have been living in the house on my own, which is now in the process of being sold. At work I have a huge project, which has gotten to a point of bordem, and it needs to be done - and I wish I could win the lottery so I wouldn't have to do it.. or I've even considered alternatives with no real conviction.