FunkStar, like you say it's a horrible situation as you don't want to be "rude" - Personally if I'm playing 2 I only take 1 set of loots, if I'm playing 3 I can generally let them decide, if its my decision I just take 1 set.

It's a sacrafice but I guess the positive way to look at it is if your the dps then you should get through the instance faster