Although my setup is not exactly what you describe this is essentially what I do. The only "ui" frame I use is Target and everything else is in grid but I have my repeater zone over my party in grid and then I simply mash the button I wish and on the healer end I use
/cast [target=mouseover,help][help]target=tanksname] heal
This way if I am I have a "mouseover" a toon in the grid it will cast the heal on that person otherwise, otherwise it heals the target I have selected (by left mouse clicking) and if I don't have a target (the norm) then it heals the tank.
I find this setup intuitive and really easy to use.
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