I just went through this on my pally team

If I was at home I could give better details on how to set this up but you can in fact set up your heal bot so no every member of your team lists everyone in the same order.

The set up for this is either in the healing or bars section.

1. Ensure only "raid" is checked in the middle portion
2. ensure all groups are checked
3. The bottom drop down menu select "by name".

There are other options you can select but I have found by trial and error, especially if you want to do AV or join a raid you need to configure your setup for the largest raid you will be joining. In my case I originally set it up for my group of 5 and upon joining my first AV was unable to heal myself.

When I get home I will look at my setup and post a better step-by-step process to set this up.