You need to be smashing 1,2, and 4 TOGETHER. This will keep your shields up on your toons, it will shield break when the mobs are at range, and melee when they are nearby. A single charge and a few hits shouldn't be enough to take out a character unless they aren't keeping their shields up, or maybe it was your main who was already low. In which case just jump on a new horse on your main. This will clear aggro and they will target another character. I've never had to change horses more than once during the fight on my main, and once again on another character. Just cleared it again on heroic using this smashing method.
Again, there is no trick here. You don't try to 'time' your button smashings or pick individual abilities. Just put your fingers on 1, 2, and 4 and non-stop press them all together.
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