I use Simple Mouseover Target (links to wowinterface.com) and wouldn't be without it now.
You hover your mouse over whoever you're interested in and it'll pop up a tooltip showing who / what they're targeting while you carry on doing whatever you want to be doing. The advantage here is that they don't see you targeting them either.
You could use focus and focus-target in Xperl or similar, but I much prefer the mod route.
It's got some snazzy colour scheme too - a red background on the tooltip means they're on your, green means they're on the same target as you. Great for a quick check.
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