I feel your pain with the whole idea of 1-80 with no RAF.

Games wise I don't know - about the only thing I would even consider is Everquest2 (which seems to be gaining popularity around here), but I've got loads to do in WoW as I haven't progressed my teams anywhere near where you are now.

Your biggest issue with PVP seemed to be the fact Horde lost everything, hence suggesting you transferred to another server witha decent horde side and pvp there.
It wouldn't solve your not being BG leader - but what exactly is the problem with not being the leader. Is it because all your guys aren't in the same group?
Could you not just drag them from the raid screen to yours so you can select them? Or does it affect your targetting.