Would you happen to be using windows Vista olipcs? I'm trying to work out if that is causing one of my problems or if it is some other factor.

Clique for healing is fun but does require some UI changes to get party list in same order and placement on all clients or something similar with Grid etc. With my tank setup I ended up recreating a heal tank button as clicking got a bit old but its perfect for emergency healing of other party members (or raid with grid)

Sounds like you have pretty much everything covered. The only thing I've been meaning to play with a bit more is a roundrobin setup using toggles. It should be a lot easier now I realise I can use IP's instead of <local> making it work from any of my PCs (why oh why didnt I try that at first)

A simple roundrobin is pretty straightforward but a FTL one for skills that require /assist might be a bit more of a challenge.