Ualaa,
Thanks for the info. after much fussing about with macros and hotkeys I found a solution (although I'm still annoyed that a simple /assist party1 is not working...)
I do something similar to what you recommend, although instead of changing hotkey bars from 1 to 2, I swap weapons. Allow me to explain:
I can make ToonC leader for example and have him equip a 1 hander and a sheidl while all other toons put on a 2 hander. this is easy to keep standard since all my chars have the same gear from quests (or from drops). I can then use the logic check on [equipped:shield] to decide who to assist, follow, etc...
/assist [noequipped:shield] party1 <-- strangly this works. since the leader will HAVE a shield, this will result in false, and the leader will not try to assist 'party1'
or
/cast [equipped:shield] Lightning Bolt.
Esentially the true / false, of "is your shield equipped" is what I eneded up basing everything off of for the time being. Not a perfect system but it seems to be working for now. Plus you get the added 'bonus' of your leader being able to take hits a little better with a shield, and the others can use a 2hander staff for more DPS.
However, if anyone has any answers to why when the party leader type /assist party1, it doesnt assist him/her self, please let us know.