Ok... I've got this working!!... not perfect, but reasonably.

/mac create bar - Adds a bar...

Right click that puppy...
Click button count... add your buttons.... I did 12...
Right click again... Check the "Custom" box.

On the bar name, name it something.
On the bar target, put targettarget
In the custom states...
[target=focustarget,exists]

Type /mac bind and mouseover your newly created bar and bind your keys...

I also /mac edit and then left click on each button til it says "action..." and then right click and set it to the right button ID (1-12 for the first toolbar)...

Now I have a bar that disappears if I have no focus... and disappears if the focus has no target. However it DOES work the way I want it to, if the focus has a target, I nuke it. If not, I nuke my target.

So I've setup a 2nd toolbar, did the same things for it without keybinds and without the custom state, but is that really teh best way to do this?