Hmm looks to me like you don't need the "target=player-target", target=target should suffice (i hope). Not even sure if you need it at all for the fist condition.
Code:
#showtooltip
/cast [nomod,harm,nochanneling: Drain Life][target=focus-target,nomod,nochanneling: Drain Life] Drain Life; [mod:alt,harm][target=focus-target,mod:alt] Drain Mana; [mod:ctrl,harm][target=focus-target,mod:ctrl] Drain Soul(Rank 1)
with target=target just in case
Code:
#showtooltip
/cast [target=target,nomod,harm,nochanneling: Drain Life][target=focus-target,nomod,nochanneling: Drain Life] Drain Life; [target=target,mod:alt,harm][target=focus-target,mod:alt] Drain Mana; [target=target,mod:ctrl,harm][target=focus-target,mod:ctrl] Drain Soul(Rank 1)
otherwise it doesn't look like one could remove any more
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