Just newely divorced... how the hell does a date work now-a-days??

I don’t know about you guys but I didn’t find someone I liked until I stopped looking, I swore it’s the best way to find someone. For a year I dated a lot, met lots of different people. None of which was really what I was looking for. At this point I’ve grown up a bit and was looking for more than just a one nighter.

After having yet another boring date I just decided F it! I’m done!

One of my best friends says “hey man, I found the perfect woman for you. I’m telling ya both figure and personality wise you two will hit it off”. Said I don’t care don’t even bother thanks anyway.

Week or two later I had to drop by work to pickup something, my friend drives by, stops asks if I wanted to hang out, I said sure. Had no idea she was in the car. So we pull in to the parking lot, she gets out and it took everything I had not to say out loud holy shit! That’s the biggest rack I’ve ever seen! (I’m a rack guy).

Week later we went on our first date.

Non-Gaming girls are fine to date/marry as a gamer...it's the ones that don't have an understanding of boundaries, space or that what someone is doing may actually be important.

My last non-gamer g/f ended with a breakup over Everquest. I was guildleader of #2/3 guild on our server and we'd planned a progression night to kill Rallos Zek in Plane of Power expansion, we'd been working on him for about 2 days and knew that this was the night (had had this week booked out for about a fortnight on forums to make sure everyone was there and prepped)....about an hour into the raid we'd gotten him to < 50% and my g/f turns up with no call or anything, walks in to my place, goes to the bedroom, gets undressed and hops into bed (at this stage we'd been together a few months).

I explain to her that I currently have ~50 people relying on me and expecting me to be there and I can't just drop things because she decided she wanted to turn up, that I shouldn't be too much longer but it could also take a few hours. Six hours later RZ was dead and g/f was running out of my place in tears....I made the right choice given the way things finally ended (think I can say I'm the first non-celebrity male to be stalked for over a year) :D

Things didn't go badly here because she wasn't a gamer, things went badly because she has a constant "victim" mentality and only ever looked at things from her perspective. If you want to find someone for long term, both of you need to be able to respect and understand that the other may have hobbies you think weird or strange but be willing to respect what they need while they are involved in them as much as you'd expect them to respect your needs at the time.

I wouldn't trade my gamer wife for the world.

We met on an MMO called Risk Your Life where I was a GM (what a flop!). We both ended up in the same guild and got to know each other, only thing that sucked was I was in London, UK and she was Spokane, WA and to cut a long story short *points at current location to the left*

We both play wow (we both have 2 accounts) and I truely couldn't ask for more.

Our dates consisted of raids and leveling sessions as well as house jumping (you could climb the houses in RYL and get pretty high up) and taking out puny humans...good times :D

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Originally Posted by 'Knytestorme',index.php?page=Thread&postID=86282#p ost86282

Six hours later RZ was dead and g/f was running out of my place in tears....

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This would make a great Signature lol

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Originally Posted by 'Drizzit',index.php?page=Thread&postID=85998#post8 5998

Well at least she cannot take you WOW accounts. Thank you Blizzard for your stupid rules :P

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If the court decrees that the account to them, Blizz will make it happen, there is a post on the general forums a few years ago where someone was left an account in a will and they were allow to keep it by Blizz.

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Originally Posted by 'ChaoticMonk',index.php?page=Thread&postID=86307#p ost86307

I wouldn't trade my gamer wife for the world.

We met on an MMO called Risk Your Life where I was a GM (what a flop!). We both ended up in the same guild and got to know each other, only thing that sucked was I was in London, UK and she was Spokane, WA and to cut a long story short *points at current location to the left*

We both play wow (we both have 2 accounts) and I truely couldn't ask for more.

Our dates consisted of raids and leveling sessions as well as house jumping (you could climb the houses in RYL and get pretty high up) and taking out puny humans...good times :D

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Wow. You left London for Spokane?!?!?! I have only been outside of the US once in my life, and it was when I went to England. London is like 30 times better than Washington DC!! Loved that city. Pubs are the greatest thing ever too.

My wife is a non-gamer, and I found out (too late into the relationship to make a brash decision) that she left her ex of 8 years partially because of his video game addictions (however, his addiction caused him to not help out at all with chores, forget important dates/events and basically not pay any attention to her).

I had explained to her that I played games during portions of my free time, but she shrugged it off until we moved in together. She blew up at me after the first couple times I chose to play a game, and after calming her down, we reasoned things out peacefully and she doesn't have a problem with it, as long as I fulfill my duties as a husband/roommate/father/lover, et cetera.

All the above, however, is only as per my best knowledge of the situation as coming from a male. You never know with some females. Might be bottled up under high pressures as we speak....
;)

Make sure you understand her priorities and whether or not she's at an appropriate maturity level for you. I figure that if you are with a non-gamer, being a gamer you would want to stay away from the clingy or even remotely clingy types, but I'm sure that's a gimme.

Have fun!

This is quite the interesting convo. Fun to hear everyone's perspectives. I'm still single... but I don't mind it all that much. I mean, there are lonely times of course, but there are also alot of really cool things. I get to spend my money traveling around and competing, doing outdoor adventure sports, and multiboxing. :) Its kind of funny in a way... I must just be clueless about women (even through I grew up w/ 3 sisters) because alot of potential relationships end pretty quickly. Last serious one I was in ended because I wouldn't join her Dad's cult. Talk about a life experience...

Anyway, kids in a relationship makes it far more complicated, but it also kind of sorts out alot of the... superficiality. So, good luck man. And my best to your kids too... divorce is no joke for them.

Wow! I never expected such an outpouring of advice, stories and laughs over this topic, but I'm pleased! lol

So... the result was:

I said yes, she had pursued me twice prior, to a dinner date. Carrabba's Italian (love and honor thy Italian food is one of my ten commandments - blame my ex-wife). Meal was great and dinner conversation was great. Afterwards we went to the pool hall we've been to with friends before and played some 1 on 1 pool and had a few drinks. Was great fun also. Then we sat in my truck after the date outside her apartment just talking for 30 to 45 mins. The night ended with a steamy goodnight kiss but nothing else... I am a gentleman after all :whistling: .

It wasn't nerve wracking, I got real comfortable after we got to the restaurant and realized I had nothing to worry about. She seemed into me and I definitely think I'm into her. I'm not ready to dive head first into a relationship but I'm looking forward to some dating and fun.

And no, I don't think I've moved on too fast. My ex and I were on the outs for years and I left the house 2 or 3 months ago. In fact, I offered to watch our kids when she went out on her first date last month.

And oh.... by the way..... she is into gaming. :love: :thumbsup:

(Going out again tomorrow afternoon for a lunch date, woots!)

Damn I feel like a young lad again.... lol

Grats- here is to the future. :thumbsup:

Glad it went well, best of luck :D

This thread has gone from simple man asking for advice to "Today on Oprah" :P

Wait.... I'm not the only multiboxer in Spokane (Valley)? ./boggle.

./wave.

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Originally Posted by 'd0z3rr',index.php?page=Thread&postID=86474#post86 474

Wow. You left London for Spokane?!?!?! I have only been outside of the US once in my life, and it was when I went to England. London is like 30 times better than Washington DC!! Loved that city. Pubs are the greatest thing ever too.

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/me agrees :)

If I can make one honest, humble hope for you and your future girl - make sure she is a gaming geek too...

Married 17 yrs... me = huge pc geek, her = tv geek... two seperate rooms x 17 yrs = epic phail

Move both the tv and the puter in the same room \o/

Tbh, having a game geek gf worked great for me.
Untill she decided she was gaming to much :s

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Originally Posted by 'aNiMaL',index.php?page=Thread&postID=87404#post87 404

Tbh, having a game geek gf worked great for me.
Untill she decided she was gaming to much :s

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this!

worst thing is, my last gf was even more so then me, which was great ^^ cos I never felt guilty playing. But she went cold turkey (after a yr and a half) and expected me to do the same at the drop of a field mouse's fart. A week later and no more gf. Hit me as hard and as fast as a 5x NS EM Chain lightning combo :S - probably wasn't the gaming tho :S I work long hours ;( she just never noticed whilst she was gaming :rolleyes:
anyways back on topic :) hope it's going well m8y :) just make sure you know what you want out of any new relationship :)

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Originally Posted by 'Crayonbox',index.php?page=Thread&postID=87284#pos t87284

This thread has gone from simple man asking for advice to "Today on Oprah" :P

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ROFLMAO!!

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Originally Posted by 'Ðeceased',index.php?page=Thread&postID=87554#post 87554

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Originally Posted by 'aNiMaL',index.php?page=Thread&postID=87404#post87 404

Tbh, having a game geek gf worked great for me.
Untill she decided she was gaming to much :s

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this!

worst thing is, my last gf was even more so then me, which was great ^^ cos I never felt guilty playing. But she went cold turkey (after a yr and a half) and expected me to do the same at the drop of a field mouse's fart. A week later and no more gf. Hit me as hard and as fast as a 5x NS EM Chain lightning combo :S - probably wasn't the gaming tho :S I work long hours ;( she just never noticed whilst she was gaming :rolleyes:
anyways back on topic :) hope it's going well m8y :) just make sure you know what you want out of any new relationship :)

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Sadly been down that road before with my ex. We played a few games together, Asheron's Call, Earth and Beyond. I thought it was great because she wasn't a gamer initially but my cousin and his wife and I played together and since we were always at each other's houses we always talked about it, so she got into it too.

Then WoW came along and BAM we were hooked! She leveled up several characters above mine. About two years ago she decides that it's "too consuming" and "too addictive" and even the kids were playing at that point. Unfortunately their playing days ceased when hers did but not mine.

She was cool with it but we drifted apart and since then she's never gone back to games and doesn't want to.... WTF ?( I refuse to feel guilty for playing, I'm watching my father go through that hell now lol.



That's why I'm making it plain and clear up front before any emotions could get tangled up.

My girlfriend is a hardcore WoW player, that I think she only sleeps on tuesday mornings, lol. (Like now. Went to sleep at 2, will wake up at 3) At first she wasn't, she thought it was stupid but then all I had to do was show her that you can make little dresses and pick flowers and stuff. She actually hit 70 before I did.

I kinda want to post some of the pictures I've taken... you literally see a pile of of soda cans grow around the desk. Last week, I had to work a 16 hour shift (In a hot steel factory mind you) and I forgot my lunch and there aren't any places open as late as I work, so I called up and asked her to drive my lunch out to me and she said sure. I didn't get lunch that day because doing a ZA Pug was SO important. When I try to relax, she goes off about guild drama.

She's so involved in the game, that she doesn't really have anything else to talk about. If we have company over, she doesn't know how to communicate in a real social setting so she sits there out of the loop because she doesn't really know whats happened lately. If one of our WoW friends comes over, we can all sit there for Hours talking about WoW, but if some of her old friends come over, its total awkwardness. Doing regular tasks became such a problem too, like I would be tired on the weekends and we would agree that she would do the laundry if I vacuum and do the dishes and stuff, and I would end up doing everything.

I love my girlfriend, and I like WoW, but there's times where I wish she didn't play WoW at all. I'm not even going to get into the whole mess about kids going psycho because they are denied access to see her on cam or something, lol.

Eh.. if you have the option, and you love gaming, make sure you find someone who's at least somewhat into it or she just won't understand. I don't ever break/forgo plans with my girlfriend for WoW or even talk about it much, but a conversation game up about gaming recently, and she looked at me like I had 3 heads when I said I'll sit down to game for 3-4 hours a session once or twice a week. I told her it's better than watching reality TV for hours every night of the week.. I'm not sure I'd want to see her reaction to the gaming if we ever live together. I'd probably have to sacrifice some game time for more 'traditional' hobbies I enjoy.. playing guitars & building cars. But I'm okay with that. Would it be easier and more of a bonding experience if my girlfriend was at least partially into it? Definitely.. but you can't center your entire life around a video game.

think the best place to start looking is


/2

just don't tell her about multi-boxing until at least the third date because once she hears about it..she'll want you so bad and you don't want to move TOO fast or you might lose respect for her.

here is the link for all us single gamer's,
i've actually signed opp, and who knows...
sure beats the crap out of dating pages like www.match.com and so on.

edit: ofc i forgot to link to the gamer's date site, http://www.contactrealm.com
it is just starting up btw not much going on in there, and mostly men, :(


Silver

I finally get to use some of the stuff i've learned in psychology.


If you do decided to go to dinner, Go to a dimly lit place. There was a study done that I cant seem to find. Anyways it found that because of the low light causes your pupils dilate, which it just happens is a body language sign that people like what they are seeing. So dinner at a place with small booths or semi small tables can also help. Try and find out some things she likes, Movie, Activities, Her favorite memory from growing up, It's sometimes best to lead in this question by telling yours first. Don't try to force this kind of question in. If the opportunity presents itself go with it.
Example: "When i was a kid i remember this one summer My parents(Or Mom, Dad) we drove cross country to visit so and so." Tell some of the funny happenings along the way ect

If its dinner and a movie DO NOT GO TO A MOVIE THEATER. Its just bad for the mood, Food stuck everywhere sticky floors Crappy chairs no talking ect.

A Movie in the park is I think a better idea than the movie theaters. The type of movie can be just about anything new or old pretty much what ever is playing(They don't normally play crappy movies at these things) But comedy's work fairly well it can give her an excuse to touch you lean on your shoulder ect. Check out the area before hand so you know if you need to bring a blanket or something to sit in/on comfortably. If the movie isnt going over well you can always just walk around the park and just BS along the way and go grab a coffee/Drinks ect.

Bowling can be great, if she like bowling that is of course. ;)


A Comedy club on an open mic night can sometimes be a fun idea. I've only taken one date to one and it went ok, Sit at the bar makes it easier to face each other when talking. Most times the bar is far away from the stage so you can have a conversation with out being to distracted or being distracting. Going when there is a good/famous comedian performing can hurt the date more than help it. You'll both be focusing more on the performer and less each other.

Its easier for most people to talk about themselves than to ask questions, but don't make her do all the talking! Don't be stiff when you talk try to be animated while talking use your hands it helps keep her attention on you. Ask engaging questions that will make her talk about herself and you about yourself. Questions that can be answered with a simple yes or no aren't very engaging.



Wow way more than i was planning on typing ^^ , Time to sleep lol :sleeping:

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Originally Posted by '-silencer-',index.php?page=Thread&postID=88116#post88116

but you can't center your entire life around a video game.

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Uh what??
I feel misinformed :D

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Originally Posted by 'Deshu',index.php?page=Thread&postID=85962#post859 62

The divorce is final now, yay! I do not hate my ex-wife but it was just time, you know.

I'm 27... last time I went on a date I was 18. I have this girl asking me out who's a year younger than I. Is movies & dinner too archaic? Oh god... I'm nervous!

8|

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No dinner and movie for a first date. If you don't know the girl very well, just go for a drink, coffee, or ice cream. Something quick that *can* last longer if you both want it to. If you know her well enough to get along, or for a 2nd date.. any simple activity works:
Playing pool, bowling, darts, basketball, frisbee, rollerblading, whatever. Something to get active in some form so you have something to 'do' while you're talking and getting to know each other.

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Originally Posted by Fleecy',index.php?page=Thread&postID=86153#post861 53]Torrs <3 [url='http://www.dual-boxing.com/forums/index.php?page=User&userID=8826

TheElles[/url] (my gamer GF/wife). :love:

Couldn't ask for anyone better - well, maybe a woman who gave me epics maybe, or one who bought me an epic flyer, or or may if she power leveled my new girls, or .... :P

Met at my mothers (re)wedding. It was love at first instance. :thumbsup:

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:love: awww too cute :D

Loveses you too

Meanwhile yayay first date Deshu GRATS! Have fun mate and go with the flow :thumbup: