Some jokes i find funny:
An Englishman an American and an Iraqi walk into a bar. 50 people were killed and a further 20 people were injured. Al Qaeda later claimed responsibility.
Once upon a time there was 2 chinamen.
Now look how many.
A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is destroying his family.
So a seal walks into a club...
What does the deaf dumb and blind kid get for christmas?
Cancer
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says:
"Get out, you are a horse."
Knock knock
Who's there?
the cops, your husband was killed in a car crash.
Why did teh cat fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead.
why did the little girl drop her lollypop? She got hit by a bus.
A guy and his family are sitting at a local restaurant. The dad notices that the waitresses blouse is undone quite a bit, and when she bends over, he notices she's not wearing a bra, and see's her tits in all their glory. He gets an erection, and leaves a nice tip. Later that night he goes home, and tries to have sex with his wife, but she turns him down. The next day he goes and talks to a psychologist, his marriage is failing.
A blonde, brunette, and a redhead all walk into an orphanage
A man walks into a pool. He drowns.
What's the difference between me and a cancer patient?
The cancer patient will die prematurely.
what makes 9 out of 10 people happy?
gang rape.
What's worse than a maggot in your apple
getting raped
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says:
"Why the long face?"
The horse replies:
"I have aids."
Q: How do you stop a rhino from charging?
A: Shoot it, ideally several times with a large caliber weapon. Alternately, use a tranquilizer gun if keeping the rhino alive is important.
Why does the little boy cry late at night?
Because his alcoholic father comes home from the bar and beats his mother and wonders if he'll be next.
An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman man walk into an airport. They all have British Passports
whats black and sits at the top of the stairs
stephen hawking after a house fire
I giraffe walked into a bar, the bartender asked "How did you fit through the door?" the giraffe didn't say anything back because it can't talk.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are all falling off a building. The brunette makes the wettest thud as her body impacts the pavement.
over 9000 men walk into a bar.
In a few hours they are drunk out of their skulls from drinking cheap lager and shots of Jägermeister. The bar closes, the men walk home, but are mugged by icelandic guys. http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j1.../Ninjafade.gif
A man is arrested for indecent exposure.
He gets 5 years.
Dick Cheney and a friend go quail hunting, Cheney shoots his friend in the face.
what's do Michael Jackson and Niel Armstrong have in common:
- nothing, one was the first man to walk on the moon, the other is a child molester
what do you call 5,000 lawyers at the bottom of the grand canyon?
- A lot of dead lawyers.
KNOCK KNOCK
WHO'S THERE?
CHRIS HANSEN!
