So a Dwarf and a Gnome are sitting in the bar....

So this Dwarf is getting is liquid breakfast at the inn in Ironforge, when in walks his happy little Gnome friend, looking full of bounciness!
The Dwarf says, "Who put sunshine in yer brew?" and the Gnome says "Well, a gentlemen doesn't tinker and tell... but I had an absolutely magical evening last night."
Gnome: "I was looking for some ore in the Deadmines, and of all things I found a Blood Elf maiden who'd been surrounded by those Defias brutes and was trapped in a mining cart!"
Dwarf: "What did yeh do?"
Gnome: "Well I had to shuffle off a few of those ruffians, with the help of some precisely placed shaped charges and applications of force... I was able to do just that."
Dwarf: (Sipping his ale and slapping the Gnome on the back) "at's ther spirit! Back in the big one, my gran'father the sapper always said..."
Gnome: (interrupting) "So I took her back to my apartment here - she had no where else to go, you see. And again, I don't mean to brag but....."
Dwarf: (gulping more ale and leaning in closely, his bloodshot eyes widening) "hmmmMMMM?"
Gnome: "As we engineers say, we 'broke in' every room in my economy flat."
Dwarf: "AYEEEEE! At's wot I like ter hear. So tell me... Woz she one of them pretteh ones, with the long yella hair an' eyes as green as ther grass in Dun Baldur?"
Gnome: "I don't know! I never found her head."

not so much a joke, but something i wrote when i was still playing on RP servers

enjoy the read

Quote:

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As he entered the room his eyes scanned the bright surroundings, 2 undead dressed in black on the most left table, 3 giggling troll females on a table in the middle and one lone tauren customer sitting at the bar. The goblin waiter and patron both nodded to him as greeting which he answered with a grin.

He seated himself next to the two undead with a single word "kotron". One of the undead nodded slowly while the other eyed the newcomer suspiscously. "Orc, tell me, who told you of us?"

"The streets tell many tales of you two, 'brothers in dead' is it not?"
Both undead suddenly shift back in their chairs a bit, their hoods casting a shadow over their faces. "Don't use that name in the city greenskin, you don't know who listens".

The orc stood up and shouted "MY MY, SHY ARE WE?".
He took up a flask of liquor that stood between the brothers and broke it on the side of the table.
The brothers both jumped up and in a flash daggers appeared in each of their hands.

The giggling stopped, the three trolls looked at the active trio now blocking the way out, the tauren took another sip of his stiff drink. Both the waiter and his patron rushed to the three girls as to find a safe spot for them to hide.

The orc looked back, straight in the face of the girls and stretched out his free hand to them. "No harm will come to you, follow the goblins and go behind the counter"
Both undead hissed, the slightly smaller one saying "You know we will kill them, no-one can know our face"

The orc turned back to face his enemies and laughed "funny deadies, funny.. then how comes i know who you are?"
The bigger one of the brothers kotron looked puzzled, as if trying to recover some long lost memories, the smaller one peering at the orc "yes orc, tell us, how do you know of us."

"You two are held responsible for slaughtering a small village, about 10 years back, leaving not a single orc alive... or so the story goes. Meet your nemesis rotten ones, you overlooked me back then, but I surely did not overlook you."

Both undead shrugged at the threat the orc lay before them. In unison the undead stabbed out to the orc. The broken flask he held was used to deflect one of the daggers, and with his free hand he grabbed the wrist of the smallest undead's hand. Suddenly two more daggers flashed, one hitting the mark, the orc's upper thy pierced. The other however never came close. A barstool suddenly flying through the room hit the largest of both undead straight in the face and burried him in the wall behind him.

The smaller undead looked to his 'brother' and snicked "He was always this slow"
The tauren now stood behind the orc and roared "I WANTED A QUIET DAY!"
The orc suddenly slumped to the ground as a massive waraxe found it's way into the greenskin's skull. The massive tauren shoulders towered above the undead and made him feel even smaller than usual. "I .. I shall go, and won't trouble you again.. " pointing at the orc he continued, "He started it all, you saw".

there came two answers to his plea, One was another swing of the massive waraxe that hit the now sorry heap of bones square in the chest and the other a simple "moo".

The patron looked at his wall, and muttered something about repairs. The tauren dropped a purse on the bar and said "That should cover for a quiet day, does it not greenskin?" and pointed another bottle behind the bar
"yes yes, sorry your hornedness"

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you can find more stories by me on http://www.dirjax.be/stories

Quote:

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So this Dwarf is getting is liquid breakfast at the inn in Ironforge, when in walks his happy little Gnome friend, looking full of bounciness!
The Dwarf says, "Who put sunshine in yer brew?" and the Gnome says "Well, a gentlemen doesn't tinker and tell... but I had an absolutely magical evening last night."
Gnome: "I was looking for some ore in the Deadmines, and of all things I found a Blood Elf maiden who'd been surrounded by those Defias brutes and was trapped in a mining cart!"
Dwarf: "What did yeh do?"
Gnome: "Well I had to shuffle off a few of those ruffians, with the help of some precisely placed shaped charges and applications of force... I was able to do just that."
Dwarf: (Sipping his ale and slapping the Gnome on the back) "at's ther spirit! Back in the big one, my gran'father the sapper always said..."
Gnome: (interrupting) "So I took her back to my apartment here - she had no where else to go, you see. And again, I don't mean to brag but....."
Dwarf: (gulping more ale and leaning in closely, his bloodshot eyes widening) "hmmmMMMM?"
Gnome: "As we engineers say, we 'broke in' every room in my economy flat."
Dwarf: "AYEEEEE! At's wot I like ter hear. So tell me... Woz she one of them pretteh ones, with the long yella hair an' eyes as green as ther grass in Dun Baldur?"
Gnome: "I don't know! I never found her head."

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Morbidly amusing. hehe.

Necro Gnome :thumbsup: