This was kinda cute. Original link .

Full post for Eteocles and his gimp firewall rules:
Van Cleef Encounter - Boss of Heroic Deadmines (50man Raid Instance)

In heroic mode, Mr. Smite is not found in his usual place, but instead at the top of the ship. The encounter starts off easy, but quickly ramps up in difficulty. Mr. Smite retains his abilities from Normal Mode (AoE stun and features such as real time...weapon change)

After a basic tank and spank, Mr. Smite is vanquished. The door to Van Cleef's Cabin opens and Van Cleef appears, shouting "Too soon! Executus!". Van Cleef has a heal that must be interrupted and will periodicaly Slice'n'Dice when the tank will need heavy heals. He will also stack wound poison on the tanks, so a rotation will be needed (He is not immune to taunt).

At 50% Van Cleef will sleep the raid and shout - "Arise! My champion!" and ressurect Mr. Smite. He will respond "At your side! M'laddy!" in a scottish accent. This is where the real encounter begins.

Phase 1 - Van Cleef and Smite
-Smite retains his abilities from before, as does Van Cleef. It should be noted Van Cleef cannot be killed at this time so the raid should ignore him and simply off-tank him. If he reaches 1% he will shout "It is not yet my time...you wouldn't refuse an old man a refreshing drink would you?" at which point he will Bubblehearth back into the cabin and have a short teaparty - re-emerging at 100%. However, the water around the boat (Which is normally filled with highly damaging fish) will boil for his tea, killing the fish and replacing it with a much more manageable damage debuff for those in the water. Some raids prefer to "kill" Van Cleef once as the water must be used in later parts of the fight.

Mr. Smite will call out "You <class> are tougher than I thought! YOU will have to improvise!" this is known as Mr. Smite's Class Call. And it differs for each class. This occurs approximately every 20-40 seconds.

-Warriors gain a debuff which swaps the values of their Strength and Stamina with their Intelligence and Spirit. For this you will need two secondary tanks stacking int and spirit, to take over during class calls.

-Paladins will all be teleported into a giant bubble. This bubble cannot be penetrated by anybody i.e paladins may not leave and no other players may aid the paladins inside. At the center of the bubble spawns a giant hearthstone. The paladins must use their paladin DPS powers to DPS the hearthstone down quickly to shatter the bubble, otherwise they are teleported outside the instance.

-Hunters get stuck in Aspect of the Pack, causing daze and alot of raid members to b---- and moan and not invite them to subsequent raids because their DPS is poor and they cause problems. A very powerful ability.

-Rogues will gain a "You are being watched..." debuff which will tick on and off throughout the Phase. If they do not stop DPS they bill be afflicted by "Gank". A mirror image of themself will shadowstep behind them, and "Gank" the rogue. This takes the form of an anime collage type attack, featuring the spirits of all lowbies killed by stealthing rogues whilst they were busy fighting. A potent ability which can potentially take a Rogue from 100% to 0%. THe best defence against this is to either stop DPS when you are being watched, or to Vanish right after, to prevent being ganked.

-Druids will be marked by a Hunter's mark and given a "No Druid's Land" debuff. Shortly after they are all teleported to the back of the raid after being told "You are not where you're supposed to be..." then they get turned into trees which cannot move but receive a bonus to their healing abilities. Paladins and Warriors will need to step in for Druid tanks afflicted by this until it wears off. Boomkins don't need to worry since they won't be invited to Heroic VC anyway. If any are, Mr. Smite feels sorry for the raid and leaves them alone, since they're probably out of mana by now.

-Priests will be teleported above a lightwell. They must quickly levitate or risk falling damage. They must then guide a "Lassie" through a maze to other members of the raid. "Whats that boy? Our priests fell down a lightwell?". After a raid member right-clicks the dog, the priests are restored to their regular positions.

-Warlocks succumb to the demonic energies of the nether. A demonic pet chosen at random will Mind Control the Warlock and cackle with glee as it turns it's former master against the raid. It is recommended to polymorph the Warlock before he wipes the raid with his overpowered Deathcoil. After a time limit has passed or if raid members destroy the demon, the Warlock is freed.

-Mage. During a Mage class call, it is exactly the same as the Warlock class call. Except Mr. Smite whispers DPS Meters to the mages in the raid, which may or may not be correct and often show Warlocks beating them in the meters. This is all that happens, but other results could vary.

-Shaman will have all their spell schools disabled and only be given access to totems. In a little mini-game, they must tend to a garden of totems and give it lots of tender love and care. As the totems grow up and move out of home, they will regain access to the related spell schools (Fire for Fire Totem etc) this requires the Shaman to go through a complex maze of mini-games reminiscient of The Sims 2 and Harvest Moon.

WHe Mr. Smite is killed, Van Cleef will "enrage" and charge up a 10 second cast Mortal Strike. The targetted tank will need to take a great many precautions to mitigate the incoming damage. Shield Wall is recommended. After this Mortal Strike, he takes Mr. Smites body and retreats into his cabin and will cry out "You face not myself alone! But the legions I command!" thus beginning Phase 2.